United States of Weeds
by HauntedxDreamer
Summary: What happens if when Nancy was fleeing from the aftermath of the whole Pilar situation she decided to go to Kansas? What will happen with the Botwins and the Gregsons meet? Chaos, probably. Marshall/Shane slashfic. If you don't like, don't read.


Hello there. So now, United States of Weeds? Weird title right? I had inspiration. I love United States of Tara and Weeds to death, both shows are just so good and I really connected with Marshall from Tara's family and Shane from Nancy's family. And then it hit me. Why not do a fanfiction?! Brilliance! Yes, this is going to be a Slashfic of Marshall and Shane but it isn't going to be all abrupt and awkward, it's going to actually progress interestingly. You'll have to read to find out :P

I will do my best to accurately write out the different personas of Tara. It's going to be slightly difficult but I'm sure I'll manage.

So the basis of the story is that Nancy is fleeing from Mexico (this takes place at the end of season 5, beginning of Season 6) and she only took Silas, Shane, and Stevie with her. Looking for a place, it just so happens she decided to go to Kansas.  
This takes place at the start of Season 3 in United States of Tara. I'm probably not going to do all that Bryce crap but Tara WILL have new alters.

So read and I hope you like it :)

* * *

"Seriously mom, do we have to?" Shane asked, frowning. Sure, he had killed a woman in cold blood with a mallet, yes, mallet, not stick or hammer, but his mother was totally overreacting. Now him, his two brothers and mother were fleeing the state and Estaban, mom's Mexican lover.

"Uh, yeah, Shane, we do," Nancy replied, taking another sip of her iced coffee. At this point it was probably a habit or addiction, much like smoking. For some reason, the frozen treat seemed to calm her down when situations got to be a bit too intense. Like most of her life. "You killed a woman, not only that, but you don't seem to fucking care. So yeah, we have to."

"I don't see why we all have to move because Shane's a psycho," Silas said, shaking his head. "I mean we already knew it…at least now, we have proof that he's certifiable."

"You'd better be careful how you talk to me," Shane warned, "I've tasted blood once…who knows when I'll strike again!"

"Silas, don't comment on your brother's mental instabilities," Nancy said, "and Shane? Don't joke about murder. That's inappropriate. God, I'm sure this conversation is what every mother dreams of."

"Okay, better question then, where are we going?" Shane asked.

Nancy glanced down at the map on her lap. Taking only a second, she slammed her hands on the wheel. "I don't know, damn it. I don't know where we can possibly go so that this doesn't catch up with us."

"How about–"

"Shane, I swear to God, if you say Pittsburg I'm going to pull this car over and beat your ass."

Shane sighed. "Hey! You don't seem to have any better ideas. I'm just trying to be helpful, like you know, whacking Pilar upside the head with that mallet was."

"That was not helpful," Nancy replied, "sure it was probably necessary and in some strange way very sweet, considering she was threatening your mother, but helpful? Not so much. I am the mother, the head of this family. Murdering, while I do NOT condone it, is MY job. You're a kid, your jobs include going to school, watching cartoons, and eating junk food. NOT murder."

Shane smiled. "I bet you if Silas did it, you would have given him a cookie."

"Dude. how fucked are you?" Silas asked, slapping Shane on the back of his head.

"Mom, I'm warning you, Silas is about to make me go there!" Shane growled.

"Silas, leave your brother alone," Nancy sighed. "Yup, this is my life." She didn't expect everything to turn out like this, no more than she expected her husband to suddenly drop dead. The moment when that happened, everything seemed to take a turn for the worse. Ever since then she was struggling to take care of two, now three kids, and to do the best she could, but lately, it seemed like the best she could do, just wasn't enough. Every single choice that she had made in the last few years seemed to just place them all in hell, and she was tired of it. Just once, just one fucking time, she wanted to do something right. She wanted to protect her kids and give them the future they deserved because she loved them. And as much as it hurt her to admit it, she hadn't been a very good mother the past few years. She intended to make it up, maybe in some weird way, this whole murder thing was a blessing in disguise.

"So, mother, have you figured out where we're going, yet?" Silas asked.

"Don't call me mother, I'm mom," Nancy replied. She glanced down at the map again and frowned. Where to take them, where to go where it would be safe. "I…I'm thinking more central America, I'm getting a good vibe about that. I just have to pick a place."

"Oh goody, not only will we be completely uprooted and thrown into a new area that we have no freakin' idea of, but we'll be in Hicksville. Nice."

"Silas, calm yourself, okay?" Nancy pleaded. "Just let me figure all this out. We have tons of cash and we'll be able to start fresh, that's the important thing. We'll let go of the past and move forward into a bright new present. You'll make new friends, both of you, and I'll get a job, a REAL job, no more illegal stuff. We'll be able to properly turn over a new leaf."

"You've said this before," Silas replied, "so forgive me, mom, if I'm not too much into believing your value of conviction."

"You'll see," Nancy insisted.

"Whatever."

After another hour passed by, Shane yawned. "Are we going to stop soon? I'm tired. First degree murder really takes a lot out of you."

"Shane –"

Silas turned in his seat and glared at him. "Is that really what you're going to fucking do? Just make jokes like nothing happened?"

"What do you mean?" Shane asked, blinking innocently.

"Shane, you fucking killed a person!" Silas growled through clenched teeth. "And you're sitting there cracking jokes like there's nothing fucking wrong with it."

"Silas, stop it," Nancy said.

"Yeah, Silas, stop it," Shane repeated, smiling.

"No, mom, I'm not going to stop. Don't you see how fucked this all is? My brother, my younger brother, just literally bashed a woman's head in and killed her. I always thought our family was fucking up, but this is a whole new level of fucked up. First dad drops dead, which is good for him, since he didn't have to be around for the last few years of crazy. Then, you start selling drugs and eventually get mixed up in gangs and Mexican mafias. Now to top it off, the fucking icing on top of the entire fucking cake, Shane murders a woman, and he's beyond help, acting like it doesn't even fucking matter. And then you, our mother, which I use that term loosely, is just sitting there, drinking your fucking iced coffee, acting like everything is all sunshine and daisies. You know what? It's fucking not. Our family is beyond repair, thanks to you."

Nancy slammed on the brakes, pulling to the side of the road. "Really, you want to do this? Right fucking now?"

"Jesus, mom!" Shane exclaimed. "You woke Stevie up from his nap, he's going to be cranky."

"Shane, shut the fuck up right now," Nancy yelled. "Silas, I've had it with this. It's real easy to blame me for everything, because yeah, I've screwed up, but don't act like you're all innocent in this. Way back when we were in shit-perfect Agrestic, I told you, stay in school and don't worry about what I was doing. Did you? No. You were too busy trying to be a badass; getting your girlfriend pregnant, trying ecstasy, and getting involved with drug houses. I tried to shelter you from everything, but you just wouldn't take no as a fucking answer. You got yourself involved, so don't sit there on your fucking pedestal looking down at me, like you're some angel, because you aren't. Where were you while we were in the middle of Mexican drama? Looking after your baby brother–"

Shane frowned. "I'm not a baby–"

"–No, you weren't. You were too busy fucking some cheese whore, who was only using you for your connections to get drugs. When your father died, it was my job to put food on the table and keep a roof over your heads. I did that. I may have not gone about it the best of ways, but I did my job. What was your job? You wanted so much to be the damn man of the house, know what part of that responsibility was? Taking care of your brother, watching out for him and making sure he didn't go down the wrong path. But you were too busy going down the wrong path to make sure he didn't. Maybe, just maybe, if I didn't have to spend so much time keeping you in line AND worrying about keeping us fed and housed, Shane wouldn't be as "fucked" as you're saying he is. Maybe it's not me or Shane who are the fuck ups, maybe it's you. But it's so much easier for you to throw your stones at us than accept that you're just as much of a part of this family being where it's at as I am or he is."

"Damn, mom," Shane muttered.

Silas blinked, as he leaned back in his seat. His eyes locked onto Nancy's for a few moments and he shook his head. "…what do you want me to say?"

"I don't want you to say anything," Nancy replied. "I want you to just own up to the fact that we're your family…and to stop taking digs out on me and your brother, because everybody makes mistakes. Unfortunately, our mistakes are bigger than some, but the point still stands."

"Yeah, Silas," Shane said, "we may be fuck ups, but we're your fuck ups."

Silas almost smiled, barely. "I...I know you're right, partially. In some ways, this was my fault. I should have taken better care of him, watching out for him more. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry, Shane."

"Don't apologize to me, apologize to Pilar. She's the one who's suffered for your negligence." Shane remarked, sticking his tongue out.

"Shane, I cannot believe that you just attempted to be cute while talking about murdering somebody," Nancy said, shaking her head. "It worked, probably because you're my son and I love you no matter what…but try to resist on our new neighbors."

"New neighbors?" Shane asked. "So you've picked a place?"

"Yeah," Nancy replied, starting up the car again.

"Woah," Silas said, "when did that happen?"

"At some point during our little argument, I spilled a drop of coffee onto the map. The place where it landed, we're going."

"Oh?" Silas asked. "Where exactly is that?"

Nancy shrugged. "Some place called Overland Park, Kansas."

"That's…well, fine, I guess."

"Overland Park, Kansas…." Shane repeated. "I wonder what's there?"

"Whatever's there, let's hope it's more normal than what we're used to." Silas replied.

Nancy laughed. "Ain't that the truth."

* * *

"Come on, T, don't be a bitch!" Kate yelled. It was the fourth time this week that her mom transitioned into T. Normally it wouldn't have been an issue, T was her favorite out of all the alters, but too much time with T around meant boundary issues.

"Oh chill out, candy tits," T replied, licking her lips. "Your clothes look so much better on me, and this new lipstick gives me major DSLs."

"Buy your own! I just fucking bought that lipstick, I didn't even get to use it yet. It's brand new, or was until you came along. Not to mention that it's MAC brand and it cost me almost forty dollars. So I'm asking you one more time, give it back."

"Kate what happened to you? You used to be cool. Now you're becoming a stick in the mud like Tara."

Kate frowned. "T, I mean it. Give me back my fucking lipstick." It was annoying. T would just go through your closets and take whatever she wanted, and she flat out didn't care. It would have been so annoying if mom had anything worth stealing, but nope, she didn't. Which meant that T only targeted her

"Fine, you can have it, I've already used it anyway," T said, tossing the lipstick over her shoulder. "I'll catch you on the flip side, bitch, I'm outie!" She walked downstairs and went into the kitchen to grab the spare car keys from the counter.

"T, you know you're not allowed to leave the house. If mom resurfaces, she's going to be pissed off," Kate said, walking up behind her.

"Oh whatever, like that matters to me. It's not fair that Buck and Alice can do whatever the hell they want when they're in control. I don't hear them having specific rules about where they can strut their stuff."

Kate rubbed her forehead, she was getting a headache. "The only reason why Alice can go wherever she wants, is because she does normal things in mom's body…like grocery shopping or parent-teacher conferences. You go out and do drugs and have sex, not so normal things. Buck does whatever he wants to do, and since he has a gun, we really don't challenge it much. But the point remains is, he's less trouble to deal with sometimes than you are."

"So what you're saying is," T smiled, "if I pack some heat you guys will let me par-tay more?"

"No," Kate sighed, "God, help me!"

"T troubles again?" Marshall asked, walking into the room. He was carrying a pile of magazines and newspapers, which were more than likely for recycling.

"You could say that," Kate responded, shaking her head. "I still don't know how the hell dad put up with this for all these years. I would have taken Buck's gun and blown my brains out a long time ago."

"Oh, I know why Maxxy hasn't pulled the trigger yet," T replied, rubbing her hand down her shirt. "It's obvious he stays because he secretly wants to hit all of this."

"That clearly must be the reason," Marshall replied, raising an eyebrow. "After all, you are the epitome of sex appeal."

"Oh shut up Twilight Sparkle," T said, narrowing her eyes. "I know it's false flattery because you don't roll that way."

"Yup, nothing gets past you, T."

Kate smiled. She loved her dorky younger brother and his sarcastic humor. Out of everyone in the house, they were the closest. It just sort of happened over the years, dealing with her mother's psychosis, but she didn't complain. "Moosh, what are all those newspapers and magazines for?"

"I've been doing a side project, some research. Apparently, a woman with huge political ties in Mexico, was murdered on American soil. There's a huge uproar about it. There are suspects involved, but they can't be located. Two people, a woman and a young boy, were seen fleeing from the scene of the crime. It's fascinating, isn't it?"

"Yeah, and slightly morbid. When did you become so interested in Mexican crimes anyway?"

Marshall shrugged. "I don't know, I just saw the story and it looked interesting. Lionel and Noah think I'm weird though."

"You are weird, but that's why we love you," Kate replied, ruffling his hair.

"Gee, thanks," he replied, and laughed.

"Enough of this breakfast club bullshit, I want to get smashed," T said, "and there ain't no party in this house so I'm going to go find one somewhere else."

"T, I'll tell you what I'm sure you've already been told, thousands and thousands of times before. You're not allowed to leave the house," Marshall said. "If you want to party so much, go to the shed and party with yourself."

T scoffed. "I'm out of here."

"Guess who's home?" a voice called from the living room.

"Dad!" Kate exclaimed, rushing forward to meet him in the kitchen doorway and they hugged.

"Glad you're home dad," Marshall said, "because T's trying to flee the coup."

"Tattletale!" T cried. "Sure, just rat me out to daddy, maybe if I'm lucky, he'll spank me. Yeah, that's right. You want to give it to me, Maxxy? I've been bad."

"T…," Max muttered. "you back already?"

"Oh yeah, I'm back. Tara can't keep me hidden for too long. I'm like a caged, wild animal. I need to be free."

"That's nice. But you know you're not allowed to leave the house, as I'm sure the kids have already told you. So you'll have to be okay with roaming in this prairie."

T sighed and kicked a cabinet. "It's no fair….it's no…" she paused, and her body tensed up. Her eyes closed and her neck slowly turned, in a circle.

"Mom…?" Marshall asked.

"Oh God," Tara said, "who was I this time?"

"It was T, again," Max replied.

"T, again? That's like the fourth time this week. Why on Earth does she keep coming out?"

"I don't know, all I know is, please try and keep your wild animal out of my things," Kate replied, obviously annoyed. "I don't enjoy replacing torn clothes or expensive make up that your alter decides to steal."

"Honey, you know I don't have much power over what they do when I'm not in control," Tara said, "I'll...try, but I don't know how possible it is."

"Yeah, I know," Kate admitted, "it still doesn't hurt to ask, or for you to try."

"I'm gaining more control over them…a little at a time, so with any luck, I'll be able to be completely co-conscious with them soon, or that's the theory, anyway."

"And who provided this insight, Shoshana?" Marshall asked. "Because she's just another alter, her perception is really screwed up."

Tara frowned. "Yeah, it was Shoshana, but it still counts, because she's based off of a real therapist. Hell, you heard Ted, she's exactly like the real Shoshana Schoenbaum."

"Yeah, it's weird how you do that," Max remarked, "just absorbed another person into your being."

"I know," Tara replied, "believe me, I know."

"Just keep T out of my room, okay?"

"Kate, I will try my best, but no promises."

"You can't make promises about any of your alters, ever, that's what sucks." Marshall said. "For once, it would be nice if we could have…a solid month, like last year, with just you, just our mother."

Tara placed her hand on his face. "I know sweetie, I want that too. I'd give up anything for this to just go away so that we can be normal and I could give you kids the perfect mom you deserve."

"But it's not going to," Max said, "and we accept that. We just want you better, and the only way that's going to happen is if you work through your issues."

"How can I do that when more alters just keep surfacing?" Tara asked. "I mean Gimmie and Chicken were the worst, Shoshana isn't too bad, but what about that new one?"

"You mean Eleanor?"

"Yeah, Eleanor," Tara replied, and frowned. Recently, she was made aware of a new alter, Eleanor. This alter was just as annoying as Gimmie or T, probably more-so. Eleanor was the living embodiment of a crazy, old, cat lady. It was like she was the manifestation of Tara's fear of Max and the kids abandoning her, and only having animals left for comfort.

"Eleanor isn't that bad, mom," Marshall said, "she's sweet, it's just…she treats me like I'm a cat and keeps calling me kitty. It's slightly weird."

Kate laughed. "Yeah, Moosh, but you gotta admit, weird is something we're used to in this family."

"That's enough you two," Max said, an edge of firmness in his voice. "Your mom can't help how weird an alter acts, we just have to weather the storm until it passes and your mom surfaces again. Besides, at least it's just Eleanor. It could be worse, right?"

"Yeah, it could," Kate admitted.

"It could have been some cannibalistic psycho," Marshall said.

"And that, is enough comic books for you," Tara said, and they all laughed.

"Max," Tara said, once they all calmed down, "I see you've brought some packages home. Am I correct in assuming that my thoughtful husband has once again, brought home dinner?"

"Oh yes, you'd be correct. I hope everyone was in the mood for Chinese, because I was."

"Okay, can we just take a moment to appreciate the sheer awesomeness that is our father?" Kate said.

"Oh it's appreciated, now let's eat!" Marshall exclaimed.

As they all sat down and pulled out the various cartons of food, Tara did her best to hide how sad she was. It was different than her usual sadness, it was more deeper than that. She truly wanted to get better and get on with her life. She felt as though the alters were little tourniquets holding her back and she wanted more than anything to have some sort of stability. It just really sucked because when it appeared like she was getting better, another alter always seemed to surface. She knew that she had to get worse to get better, but new alters like Eleanor surfacing? It was just too ridiculous. Above all, she wanted a friend. A friend that was just as fucked up as she was, and who could accept her in a way that nobody, aside from her family, had. But it was all for nothing, because a person like that, simply did not exist.

* * *

"Watch where you're going, asshole!" Nancy yelled, beeping her horn. This was the third time this drive that she had gotten cut off by some irresponsible driver and her road rage was nearing maximum capacity.

"Language, mom," Shane said, "after all, you have two children in the car with you."

Nancy rolled her eyes. "Shane, please. You've been cursing worse than that since you were old enough to cross the street by yourself."

"Point granted."

"Are we almost to bumfuck, nowhere yet?" Silas inquired.

"You mean Overland Park, Kansas?" Nancy asked.

Shane nodded. "Yeah, Earth to Silas? The name has only been said like a bazillion times in the last couple of hours."

"Nobody asked you, Jason X."

"Enough!" Nancy growled. "Silas, I've already told you to cut it out with the murderer jokes about your brother, and I'm not going to say it again. We're starting fresh, remember? That means absolutely no judgment on previous offenses."

"Whatever," Silas muttered, staring out the window. He wasn't entirely sure how he felt about the whole thing, the whole starting over and forgetting that his younger brother was a murderer thing. In many ways, he was tired of his strange family and wanted to be normal, wanted it more than anything, but he knew it wasn't going to happen. His mother was attracted to danger and drama and sad to say it, he definitely was his mother's child. He figured that if things got too normal, he would freak and ruin it, just like she had the many times before.

"So mom, do you have a plan yet?" Shane asked, leaning forward. "I mean we've been driving for almost two days now and you've been pretty wired. Shouldn't we stop at a hotel soon or something?"

"No, honey, we'll be fine. We've actually passed the border to Kansas and we should be in Overland Park in the next hour or so. We can rest once we've gotten there."

Shane sighed. "Fine, just…this drive needs to be over soon. I'm going crazy, I need to stretch my legs."

"I know, don't worry," Nancy replied. She just wish that she could take her own advice. She was plenty worried. Not only were they fleeing from a murder scene, they were starting completely over in a new place without knowing anybody, which was both a blessing and a curse. They needed to establish a support system fast.

"So why did we leave uncle Andy behind?" Silas asked. "He's resourceful and he's been with us almost since day one. It's kind of weird and quiet here without him."

Nancy kept her eyes determinedly focused on the road. "Because, I'm tired of dragging him into my messes. It's been happening for too long, and it needs to stop. My messes are my own, and nobody should be pulled down with me."

"Isn't that exactly what you do with us , though?" Silas asked.

Nancy shook her head. "Wrong. You two are my kids, so by default, you're kinda stuck with me until you're eighteen, or in your case, twenty-one and self-sufficient. So my apologies, boys, you two are stuck with me for the next few years."

Silas scowled. "Gee, thanks. It still would have been nice to have uncle Andy with us. I mean, he's been kinda like a father substitute for us."

"Yeah," Shane agreed, "he was pretty cool. Though I think murder with a croquet mallet falls way out of his paternal talking jurisdiction."

"Well I'm sorry you feel that way, Silas, but your brother is right. This whole thing is way out of Andy's comfort zone. His skills are quite limited to money gathering and schemes, not escaping from murder scenes. Fact being, he couldn't have helped us, so don't harp on it."

"Whatever you say, mom," Silas replied. "When's the next rest stop? I need to drain myself and Stevie has been smelling disgusting for the last eighty miles."

Nancy frowned. "Please tell me that you two didn't know the baby needed a diaper change for the last hour and didn't tell me."

"What, do I look like the father?" Silas replied.

"Nope," Shane responded, "he's kinda darker and more Mexican than white bread."

"Shut up, smart ass. I was joking," Silas said.

"Yeah, I know, I'm just an asshole."

Silas smiled coldly. "You aren't an asshole for that comment, you're an asshole because you murder people and don't care."

"Silas!" Nancy yelled and for a split-second, took her eyes off the road. That's all it took for her to crash into a parked car on the side of the road.

"Shiiiiit."

"Way to go mom," Silas said, shaking his head.

"Way to go mom?" Shane repeated. "You're the one who was being a dick and distracted her with your overwhelming dickiness."

"Enough, damn it," Nancy snarled, "enough. Do you two have any idea how serious this is? We're supposed to be fleeing from the law, staying under radar. Crashing into another person's car is NOT staying under the radar, fuck."

"Why don't you just hit and run?" Shane asked.

Nancy hit her head against the steering wheel. "Because it's too late for that."

"What do you mean?"

Nancy didn't respond, instead she rolled down her window to speak to the woman who was standing outside her car. Sighing, she did her best to pull together a smile. "Hi, I'm Nancy."

"Yeah, hi. I'm Tara Gregson and you just hit my car."

* * *

So yeah. I hope everyone liked the first installment. I'm going to try and update at least once a week, but I can't make any promises. At most, expect two to three week updates. There's a lot to come in the future of this fic, so I hope you review and favorite =)


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